How to Control Anger: 10 Ways to Calm Down (UK)

Signs of anger

Anger is a normal emotion. It becomes a problem when it’s frequent, intense or harms you or others. According to the NHS, signs include:

Some people show anger outwardly. Others turn it inwards, which can show up as low mood or self-criticism. See why am I so irritable?

10 ways to calm down when you’re angry

In the moment

1. Notice the early signs: a hot face, tight jaw or fast heartbeat. The earlier you catch it, the easier it is.
2. Count to 10 before you say or do anything.
3. Breathe slowly, making the out-breath longer than the in-breath. Try box breathing.
4. Take a time out. Say “I need a few minutes” and leave the room.
5. Move. A brisk walk burns off the adrenaline.
6. Ground yourself. See grounding techniques.

Afterwards and longer term

7. Talk it through once you’re calm, using “I feel…” rather than blaming.
8. Write it down. What triggered it? What was underneath it: hurt, fear, stress?
9. Look after the basics: sleep, food, exercise and less alcohol. See sleep deprivation.
10. Try CBT-based anger management. A 2018 review found anger treatments, mostly CBT, consistently helped.

What makes anger worse?

• Stress and overload. See stress symptoms and feeling overstimulated.
• Tiredness and poor sleep.
• Hunger, or being “hangry”.
• Alcohol and drugs, which lower your inhibitions.
• Hormonal changes. See PMS symptoms and perimenopause.
• Feeling unheard or disrespected.
• Underlying low mood, anxiety or grief. See grief and low mood.

Anger in men

For many men, anger is the emotion that feels most acceptable to show, so stress, worry or sadness can come out as irritability or outbursts. If you’re snapping at the people you love, it may be worth looking at what’s underneath. See stress in men and low self-esteem.

A calmer routine helps. Many people take our Flow CBD Oil, with ashwagandha and maca, as part of their day. The FSA’s 10mg a day figure for CBD is precautionary advice rather than a legal limit, set while longer-term safety research continues. At Evopure we think it is a very cautious figure, and many adults use more. If you go above it, increase slowly, and check with your GP or pharmacist first if you take any medication. Our Magnesium Glycinate Sleep Complex is an evening drink with L-theanine, and magnesium contributes to normal psychological function.

When to get help

See a GP if anger is affecting your relationships, work or health, if you’re hurting yourself or others, or if you feel out of control. They can refer you for anger management or talking therapy. If you’re worried about your behaviour towards a partner, the Respect Phone Line (0808 802 4040) offers confidential support. If you’re being hurt by someone else’s anger, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247. In an emergency, call 999.

See also PMDD: anger and mood swings before a period.

See also how to calm down when you’re angry, anxious or overwhelmed.